TOOTally Spies
by Parent12D
Summary: Andrew and Alex chug down some chili with beans that cause nonstop tooting. Because of this, they end up farting nonstop like crazy, and people having to put up with the gassy couple for the day. Sam, Clover, Jerry, a mad scientist, and even Mandy are intrigued and disgusted by it. Read to find out more. Rated T for some of the contents.


**Alright fellow readers, after taking a break for a couple of days to recharge a little, I present to you this new one shot that I decided to do.**

 **Now before you go and read this story, let me explain to you a couple of things. First things first, this story will be focusing on Andrew and Alex like most of my stories go.**

 **Also, this story is 100% pure humor, due to the name of the story being a pun on the name of the show, and the fact that the running gag of the two characters farting is maintained throughout the story. Just so it isn't a surprise.**

 **One more thing, just so it doesn't seem like they constantly fart for now reason, I decided to include a reason for them farting, from eating something that has the side effects of nonstop tooting the following day. Hope that makes sense.**

 **With that being said, I hope you enjoy the story everyone!**

 **Disclaimer: Andrew and Chaosky are my only characters. All other characters belong to their rightful owners.**

* * *

 **AT THE SPIES' HOUSE:**

In the kitchen that was located at the spies' house, the light-blue creature that goes by the name Chaosky was cooking something over the stove, in a pot. He was cooking what appeared to be some type of chili with beans in it. He was stirring the spoon as he checked and saw that they were done. He turned off the stove top and moved the pot off the stove, wearing oven mitts while whistling a catchy tune. It was only 8:45 at night and Chaosky wanted to cook this chili with beans tonight before turning in. Chaosky was admiring the chili in the pot that was still steaming hot, when suddenly, someone called out his name.

"Hey Chaosky!"

He turned around and saw Andrew, who looked like he was hungry and he needed to eat something.

"Oh hey Andrew," Chaosky greeted. "What can I do for you?"

"Oh, I was actually getting hungry and I was wondering if you had anything that I could eat." He rubbed his tummy to show how hungry he was.

"Oh, I don't think we have anything for you to snack on." Chaosky said honestly.

"Well that sucks, I'm flipping starving over here," Andrew groaned and he wondered what Chaosky was cooking. "Whatcha cooking Chaosky?"

"Oh this," Chaosky pointed to the pot. "This is a pot of chili that I decided to make ahead of time so I don't have to worry about cooking it later."

"Oh, I wanna try some!" Andrew sounded excited, as he made a dash for it, but before he could make it, Chaosky stopped him right on the spot.

"Woah, woah, woah there Andrew, not so fast," Chaosky stated. "You don't even know what kind of chili this is. Here, read this part."

Chaosky got out the can the chili came from for reference as he pointed to the warning section of the can. Andrew then started reading it.

 **'WARNING: A possible side effect that could occur from eating too much of this chili at once will result in nonstop tooting that'll occur the following day, so consume slowly.'**

"That's right," Chaosky said. "That means if you eat too much of that stuff at once, you'll end up farting and tooting nonstop tomorrow."

"Aurorian Chili with Beans," Andrew read the name of the brand of chili on the front.

"Yeah, I have no idea why it's named that." Chaosky stated honestly.

"In that case, I'm sorry Chaosky," Andrew apologized.

"That's okay Andrew," Chaosky got out a coffee mug. "I'll give you a cup full of this stuff, but remember, eat this stuff slowly."

"You got it Chaosky, slowly," Andrew agreed as he grabbed the cup and headed for the table in the kitchen as he was about to try his first spoonful of it. But before he could eat, he heard someone enter the kitchen, and the person was none other than Alex, who looked hungry by the look on her face.

"Excuse me?" Alex asked.

"Oh hey Alex," Andrew greeted his girlfriend. "What's up?"

"Oh babe, I'm just starving and I was wondering if I could get something to eat," Alex explained. "Whatcha eating Andrew?"

"Oh this," Andrew pointed. "It's some of Chaosky's chili that he just cooked."

"Oh, oh," Alex jumped excitedly. "I wanna a cup of that chili too!"

"Okay okay, I got you covered Alex," Chaosky got out another coffee mug and poured some of that chili in it so she could eat it. "Here you go."

"Thanks Chaosky," Alex grabbed it and ran straight for the table, sitting next to Andrew.

"Now Alex, it's like I told Andrew," Chaosky started. "That stuff has a crazy side effect that'll occur if consumed quickly, so please be sure to eat it slowly-"

He didn't get to finish as Alex was shown chugging the chili down all at once at a fast rate. Needless to say, she enjoyed it. Chaosky however had a panicked look on his face.

"That was really good." Alex enjoyed it.

"Here let me try some now," Andrew took a spoonful and slowly gulped it down. He liked what he was eating judging by the look on his face. "Mmm, this tastes great."

"Here, let me help you finish that baby." Alex said giving him that look that always got him in a trance that he admired so much. As a result, Andrew was blushing heavily.

"Oh, sure Alex…" Andrew was lost for words as Alex approached him and chugged all the chili in the cup right into Andrew's mouth, done at a quick speed. Chaosky was now anxious.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Chaosky shouted.

"What," Alex looked bamboozled. "I was just feeding my baby."

"Ironically, I'm a full grown teenaged man," Andrew pointed out.

"That you are my fabulous hunk," Alex stated as she gave Andrew what he had left for chili.

Once they were done, they looked full and satisfied.

"That was really good," Alex complimented.

"Yes it was Alex," Andrew agreed. "I think I'm gonna turn in for the night."

"Me too babe," Alex nodded in agreement. "I love you Andrew,"

"I love you too Alex,"

They gave each other a kiss on the lips before turning in for the night.

"Goodnight Chaosky," They both said to the Chaosky who was filled with too much fear to even hear them.

The couple headed to their respective rooms saying goodnight to each other before turning in for the night. Chaosky, still shocked then commented to himself.

"I'm not gonna like what's to come tomorrow…" Chaosky shook his head as he covered the pot with a lid as he turned off the kitchen as he then headed for bed himself, not looking forward to tomorrow…

* * *

 **THE FOLLOWING MORNING…**

* * *

It was now morning in Beverly Hills, and Andrew was up early, wanting to use the bathroom as he felt the huge need to crap. He knocked at the door and found out someone was using the bathroom.

"Hello?" The person was revealed to be Alex, as she needed to take a crap herself.

"Alex? I really need to use the bathroom," Andrew claimed. "I need to take a crap!"

"I need to crap too Andrew," Alex stated. "…or so I thought, but I can't crap. Nothing's coming out! I think I have diarrhea Andrew!"

"Alex, you okay," Andrew asked with concern as he felt his own stomach groaning. "Do you want me to come in there to help you?"

"No babe, I should be okay, I…" She stopped as she felt her stomach was about to explode. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"ALEX," Andrew was concerned. "DON'T WORRY BABE! I'M COMING IN!"

Before he could even burst the door open with force, Alex then unleashed what was only described as a gas bomb, as Andrew heard it himself while he still needed to crap. The door opened up and emerging from light green gas which came from farting, was Alex, and man, did she look so relieved.

"Ohhhh yeah," Alex was satisfied. "I feel so much better now. I just needed to break wind Andrew."

"Well good, because now I'm about to explode," Andrew headed to the toilet but before he could make it, his stomach felt like it was gonna explode. "YOOWWWWWWWCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

He was kneeling on the floor, gripping his own stomach in pain as Alex looked nervous.

"Andrew, you alright?"

Before Andrew could say anything else, his stomach was getting ready to burst as his butt got ready and 'let her rip'. Before you knew it, light green gas shot out as the sound of a gas bomb was then heard. Once it was done, Andrew looked just as relieved as Alex.

"Ooooo…" Andrew felt better. "I just needed to break wind too Alex."

"That's great to hear Andrew," Alex was thrilled. "At least we are both gonna be okay now."

"That we are Alex," Andrew smiled in agreement.

Just then, Alex released another fart, this one was a much softer one.

"What the…" It was then Andrew released his own soft fart just like Alex.

A minute later, Andrew and Alex let loose several multiple farts all at once as they made the hallway covered in a light green gas cloud. Once they were done, Alex was getting worried.

"What's going on," Alex wondered. "Why do I feel the constant need to let loose several farts all at once?"

It was then it clicked in Andrew's mind.

"Oh no," Andrew moaned. "It was the chili beans we ate last night…"

"What?" Alex tilted her head in confusion.

"Chaosky told me to eat those beans in chili slowly and not to eat them quickly or else I'll become a farting machine," Andrew explained. "And because we ate those too quickly, we're tooting like crazy."

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry Andrew," Alex was now panicking. "I didn't mean to do that to us! I'm sorry I…"

"It's okay Alex, you didn't know," Andrew said, hugging her. "We're in this together, so until it wears off, we'll be together."

"But what about the others," Alex asked.

"They'll have to be informed about it eventually." Andrew explained.

"Your right babe," Alex stated. "Let's continue on with our day for the time being."

"You got it babe," Andrew said as they started to walk out of the hallway, letting loose two more farts in the process…

* * *

Later that morning, Andrew and Alex were in the living with Sam, Clover and Chaosky just hanging out. While Sam and Clover had bored looks on their faces, not any different from normal, Chaosky had that panicked look on his face as he knew that Andrew and Alex are now a pair of tooting farting machines. A minute later, Sam wanted to say something, but before she said something, Alex then farted.

"What the…" Alex then let loose another fart, which Clover ended up getting a whiff of and was totally disgusted.

"Eww," Clover said in disgust, waving her hand over her nose. "Gross much?"

"Sorry Clover…" Alex apologized, not able to control her gas.

It was then Andrew farted as Sam got a whiff of it.

"Yuck," Sam covered her nose. "Did you two eat burritos or beans or something?"

Andrew and Alex were unsure what to say. Chaosky had a really guilty look on his face, as he wanted to say something.

"I think I can explain," Chaosky spoke, as Sam and Clover gave him their attention. "See, last night I gave them some chili with beans, and well… they ended up chugging it down quickly all at once. It says on the can that it can cause uncontrollable gas."

Chaosky got out the can that said Aurorian Chili with Beans as Sam took it and read the Warning label on it as she then read the name of the product.

"Aurorian Chili with Beans," Sam questioned.

"Don't ask," Chaosky stated. "Anyway, the effect will only last until tomorrow, so until then, they'll have to keep on farting like they have to."

"You mean we have to put up with their so-called 'Farting Symphony'?" Clover wondered.

"I'm afraid so Clover," Chaosky said regretfully. "I'm terribly sorry."

While Clover was truly disgusted, Sam thought she should keep some nose plugs and air freshener on her.

"We're terribly sorry guys," Andrew and Alex apologized together.

"It's okay you guys," Sam said.

"Yeah," Chaosky agreed. "We'll just have to keep some air fresheners on us, and for now, we should continue our day like it would go normally."

"Sounds good," Andrew and Alex said together.

Clover was hesitant, as she eventually went with it, as they continued their day like normal…

* * *

Sometime later, the five spies were summoned by WOOHP and were meeting with Jerry who was explaining something important to them.

"Now spies, your mission this time is to-"

He was cut off as Andrew and Alex started farting again. This instantly got Jerry's attention.

"Is there a problem I should know about?" Jerry questioned.

"Sorry Jerry," Both Andrew and Alex apologized before Andrew explained. "Alex and I have the bad case of the nonstop toots."

"May I ask how this happened?"

"It's the chili they ate," Chaosky explained. "They ate Aurorian Chili with Bean too quickly and now they are tooting nonstop like crazy."

"I see," Jerry said. "Anyway, let me give you your mission spies and you can be out of here."

"Sweet," The five spies said.

Jerry then gave them their mission and their gadgets as they were then summoned out of WOOHP and to their destination.

* * *

In a high-tech facility base, the five spies were close to their destination and to their bad guy that they need to take down. Once they made it to the huge door, they heard a stereotypical mad scientist talking to himself.

"At last," The scientist spoke. "With the power of this hydro nuclear sulfide I can be able to destroy WOOHP and put them out of business, and then the WORLD WILL BE MINE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Not if we can help it, buddy!" Sam called out as the door opened as the scientist was confused.

"Wuh, who," He then saw the spies as he then said. "Well I've been expecting you five. Unfortunately for you five, your one step too late! Once this stuff goes into this machine, I'll destroy WOOHP and CONQUER THE EARTH! But first, I'll take the pleasure in annihilating you five myself."

He got out a laser gun and approached them as he was about to fire them. But before he made his move, Andrew and Alex once again farted multiple times as the gaseous smell entered the scientist's nose and he couldn't stand it.

"GAH! THAT SMELL," The scientist gagged. "CAN'T…BREATHE… SO NASTY… OOOOOOOOO…!"

The smell was too much for him, that he fell over and was knocked out unconscious as he was unable to succeed with his plan. As Sam grabbed the hydro nuclear sulfide from his possession, Andrew felt the need to comment.

"Well that's one way to stop a bad guy."

"You said it Andrew," Alex agreed as the cops barged in from no where and arrested the psychotic scientist and took him away. Sam transferred the sulfide to WOOHP for safety precaution as the five then made their way to Beverly Hills for the time being…

* * *

Sometime later, the five spies were hanging out in the park in Beverly Hills, as Andrew and Alex tried their hardest not to break wind.

"Well today's been an average day," Sam commented. "Aside from the whole farting scenario."

Clover and Chaosky nodded in agreement. A moment later they heard a familiar voice that they knew too well. The voice was revealed to be none other than Mandy, who showed her appearance as she noticed the five spies hanging around.

"Well look who we have here, it's the five musketeers," Mandy retorted. "Oh wait your not wearing the uniforms."

"Can it Mandy," Chaosky spat. "Not in the mood for your talk."

"Whatever, check out this new necklace that I got," Mandy bragged. "I got it from eBay, and it's definitely gonna find me a hunk that'll love me and not love Clover."

"Oh yeah Mandy," Clover then said, being brought into the conversation. "I have a pretty diamond necklace that looks far better, and it's more promising than your has been necklace."

"Really?" Mandy wondered. "Well then let's see it then."

The two started arguing like normal. Mandy was about to make another retort, but she didn't get to, as Andrew and Alex went and farted once again. Mandy ended up getting a whiff of the stinky gas. Needless to say she didn't like the smell at all.

"EWWW!" Mandy was grossed out. "What the hell did you two losers eat, burritos from the dumpster or something?"

"Trust me Mandy," Chaosky spoke up. "They ate a can of chili with beans and now their tooting machines."

"Whatever," Mandy spat, about to make her leave. "I'm outta here. You guys can enjoy your gassy farts all you want, I'm staying out of it. Later losers."

With that said, Mandy then walked off, not turning to face them again. Clover was mad still at Mandy, but nevertheless stayed quite.

"Well guys, what do you say we head back home now," Sam suggested.

"Good idea," Chaosky agreed. "Let's go!"

The five of them went back to their house and hope to stay there for the evening…

* * *

When they got back to the house they were so relieved.

"We're finally home," Chaosky said. "Thank goodness."

It was then showed that Andrew farting out the main riff to the song 'Da Funk'. Alex wasn't bothered by it as she did some secondary farts, but Clover was sick.

"Okay that's gotten so annoying at this point." Clover admitted.

"Tell me about it," Some short midget started speaking. "He's been doing that song with his farts 20 times now!"  
"Who the hell are you!?" Chaosky asked furiously.

"I'm just your stereotypical door to door sales man brought here thanks to the author," the man spoke. "He wants to add some extra humor to this story!"

 **"GET OUT OF OUR SIGHT!"** Chaosky screamed. **"AND STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL TOO!"**

The man grumbled as he walked off, as Sam unlocked the door and the five spies entered, knowing it was just about dinner time when Andrew and Alex let loose another fart which got them all nauseous.

"Okay, I think I lost my appetite," Chaosky stated.

"Me too," Clover agreed. "I'm outta here."

"Same here," Sam nodded as all three of them retreated to their bedroom, not wanting to stick around to enjoy the smell from the gassy couple.

"Well, wanna hang out with me on the couch babe," Andrew offered.

"Certainly sweetie," Alex accompanied him. "I love you Andrew."

"I love you too Alex."

They hung out together for a while, as they started stinking the place up.

* * *

It was nighttime sometime later and the living room now looked like someone was smoking some serious marijuana from the looks of it, so no one dared to enter the living room.

"So Alex," Andrew started. "Wanna have a kissing fest?"

"Oh yes baby," Alex was excited as another fart escaped from her butt.

They went on the couch as they started French kissing, allowing their tongues to meet and touch one another as they told each other that they love one another. They farted as they continued kissing, as the two gas clouds combined together as they shaped into a heart, showing that the couple was sharing 'stinky love'. It was apparent that they weren't aware that they fell asleep on the couch as they pasted out for the night, continuously farting nonstop while at it…

* * *

The next morning, the happy couple only realized they past out on the couch as they opened their eyes, wondering what the heck happened last night. Sam and Clover were looking at them while Chaosky was in the kitchen taking care of something.

"Hey," Andrew realized something. "We stopped farting."

"Yeah, we did Andrew." Alex agreed.

"Thank goodness, I couldn't stand that stink much more," Clover said as Sam nodded in agreement. They heard Chaosky dumping out something, so the four spies looked and saw he was dumping out the Aurorian Chili cans that he had on him, to make sure this never happens again.

"Your dumping those cans aren't you Chaosky?" Andrew asked.

"That I am Andrew," Chaosky stated. "This was all my fault. I shouldn't gotten this brand of beans and chill to begin with. I'm never buying this stuff again."

"I agree," Andrew agreed. "I don't want to stink the place along with my girlfriend."

"I'm with you on that Andrew," Alex stated. "I don't want to constantly fart again."

"Me either baby." Andrew added.

Silence took hold for a few minutes as Chaosky got rid of the remaining Chili cans of Aurorian Chili with Beans he had gotten. Once all the chili was gone, Sam suggested.

"So you guys want to just watch TV for now?"

"Totally," Clover said. "I could use a manicure right about now."

"Count me in." Chaosky was in.

"I'm in," Andrew spoke.

"And I'm in if Andrew's in too." Alex was right by Andrew's side, embracing her man.

"You said it babe," Andrew brought Alex close to his side, as the five of them went off to watch TV, wondering if there are any more mysterious and yet crazy insane event that'll occur that'll trigger a conflict in the household. Until then, the five then went back to their everyday lives, hoping something exciting will come up…

* * *

 **THE END!**

 **WELL THERE YOU HAVE IT! THAT'S THE STORY! HOPE YOU LIKED IT! I DON'T FEEL LIKE LEAVING ANY AUTHOR NOTES THIS TIME, SO I'LL JUST SAY TWO THINGS:**

 **ONE, IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE A REVIEW ABOUT WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THE STORY, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LEAVE ONE.**

 **THE ONLY OTHER THING I HAVE IS UNTIL THE NEXT STORY I COME UP WITH, TUNE IN AGAIN READERS, AND WITH THAT SAID, THIS IS THE END OF THE STORY! GOODBYE READERS!**


End file.
